Archive for September, 2010

Festivus

Posted by    |    September 22nd, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Young professionals rejoice: This Saturday, day drinking isn’t restricted to college kids. The 3rd annual All About Uptown Festival will rage from 11am-10pm (enough time for you to recover from Friday night and continue bar-hopping into the morning). For your freelancer pockets, the admission is gratis. Festivities will occur on Fairmount Street between McKinney Ave and Cedar Springs, and free parking is offered at the Crescent Real Estate Tower. Chefs from Sambuca, State & Allen, The Capital Grille, and more will be whipping up tasty treats, and local bands like A Hard Day’s Night will be performing. Intriguing fact: Cemetery tours are being held. More intriguing fact: The tours are self-directed. Now I’m just plain curious. Prepare your livers, and I will see you, my fellow Uptowners, this Saturday.

Bad Date Aftermath

Posted by    |    September 20th, 2010 at 7:23 pm

THE FAKE FOREIGN CHILDREN on Disneyland’s ‘It’s A Small World’, are currently reworking the (in)famous song lyrics to include ‘It’s a small Uptown after all’. When you live (and date) within a neighborhood the size of a few streets, it feels close to paranormal having to see the hauntings of a failed courtship everywhere you roam, namely favorite bars, and Hot Albertsons[1], our neighborhood grocer[2].

Bad date scenario #1: Meet for drinks. He pulls a Chandler Bing and says, “This was fun, let’s do it again sometime!” Three weeks later, your only missed calls are from 1-800-Contacts, and your mom. His name doesn’t appear on your caller ID, but his presence at The Quarter Bar sure as hell does. Solution #1:

a) Strategically place yourself in his peripheral vision. Act like you’re having a really good time with your friends and laugh frequently. He needs to be shown that you don’t care he forgot to press ‘save’ after you gave him your number. Also, be thinking of clever punch line to say when you inevitably have an uncomfortable encounter at 1:59am.
b) When the bar begins to close and he walks your way, and trips (because you’re hot, and he’s nervous), he laughs it off and says, “don’t judge me.” Reply with a coy “Honey, I can judge you all I want.” Because you can. And you are.
c) Do a sexified Shawn Johnson pivot turn, and leave bar with entourage, making sure not to stumble upon exit.

You: 1 Losery Guy who never called you: -0.5 (Minus points for tripping.) (more…)

Shaking up State Thomas

Posted by    |    September 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm

The saddest thing I’ve ever seen is a bar/restaurant/lounge (“barestrounge”) in Uptown with zero traffic. State & Allen Lounge, Si Tapas, and The Londoner are names frequently found on my Visa bill, and my wallet has eyes for another neighborhood barestrounge where it can continue to damage my credit score. I need a new relaxing patio for social purposes during extended summer (see: “feels like 97F” mid-September).

For months I stared at the empty 2900 building wondering how such a prime location could be devoid of life. Current construction is taking shape as a barestrounge with a killer patio. But…just what is it? Enter, my twitter addiction, and @DallasBarReview’s good timing.

Answer: The owners of State & Allen Lounge (who greatly appreciate my patronage) are sending their talents to a The Nodding Donkey, a Texas-style sports saloon just in time for the Cowboys to get it together (constructive criticism, that’s all). This October, it will be open daily from 11am-2am giving customers an appropriate amount of time to make asses of themselves (hee-hah).