Being an avid Bachelor fan, it’s safe to say I — and okay, the rest of the viewers — knew Jake and Vienna’s relationship was doomed before she gurgled “Yes.” For those unaware of the show, earlier this year, Jake Pavelka, Dallas native and sexy pilot, chose to propose to his antithesis on the show, the vampy, bug-eyed, oh-so-sleazy Vienna Girardi. He chose Vienna over the precious and innocent Tenley, and in that moment we viewers collectively SCREAMED at the television in horror. We knew he had made the mistake of a lifetime.
Fast forward maybe 3 months since his fateful choice and here we are: Jake has regained his senses and deserted his “precious” fiancee. So, Jake, on behalf of all Dallas women, let me salute you for at last seeing what everyone else has seen since January 4 when Episode 1 of your season swept us away. Alas, we shall never forget “The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love.”
Oh, one last thing, there’s a line of single Texas women waiting patiently for you! Don’t get too dirty in Hollywood. We’ll still be here when you return alone to the Lone Star State.