And Now, the Citywide Depression

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Sunday, October 10 was supposed to be a glorious Sabbath of reckoning and jubilation. The Rangers would vanquish the Rays to become ALDS winners, and next door at JerryWorld, the Cowboys would smack down the Titans to balance their record at 2-2. Neither happened. And the Cowboy loss was so embarrassing and painful, that all over Big D football fans looked out over the evening sky and wondered, “What now?”

With the gross incompetence of our coaching staff, it’s quite clear that the most talented team in the NFL has no shot at the playoffs, and Jerry Jones’ dream of playing in his own Super Bowl is as likely as a Democratic tax cut. Wade “Captain Kangaroo” Phillips looked his usual confused self, and even the celebrations went badly awry. What a mess. We fans are left in a perpetual Monday funk, our hearts broken, and even Gordon Keith’s solutions for dealing with Cowboy-induced depression won’t work. Jerry we need a new coach, or at least 500,000 prescriptions for Prozac to dispense to melancholy Cowboy fans. Trust me, the coach will be cheaper.

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2 Responses to “And Now, the Citywide Depression”

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by YouPlusDallas, YouPlus Media and Shelly Adams, John Bantam. John Bantam said: And Now, the Citywide Depression #YouPlusDallas [...]

  2. William Steding says:

    Your Captain Kangaroo reference is much more appropos than my pet name for Phillips: “Blimp-on-a-Stick.”
    The Cowboys’ performance should be no surprise to any of us. After their preseason doldrums I picked them 4th in the NFC East, gong 6-10. My wager is my Prozac.