Posts Tagged ‘college football’

PHIL STEELE 2013 PRESEASON ALL-BIG 12 TEAM: 18 Longhorns listed

Posted by    |    June 4th, 2013 at 6:23 pm


Phil Steele has spoken. And he has an interesting perspective. His talent rankings certainly jibe with the resurgent Longhorn narrative. A few of his picks are premised more on name familiarity, cumulative starts, and inference than pure evaluation, so I’ll offer some of my thoughts as well.


Texas Longhorns & Oklahoma Sooners: An Open Letter

Posted by    |    April 9th, 2013 at 3:04 pm


Dear Returning Players and Newcomers,

Now that spring training is over, you really should be consumed with spending the next six months getting bigger, faster, stronger, smarter and hungrier. There is a score to settle with Oklahoma. Surely the memory of the recent butt-kickings and residual taunting are enough to motivate you. However, for those who need something a little more empirical, I will provide that.

Four times since 2000, Texas has taken a knife covered dish to a gun fight. Let me share how unprecedented and unparalleled that is. Texas-0U vs. Other Showcase Rivalries If you google “Top 10 college football rivalries,” you’ll get a variety of lists. There are some rivalries that make all lists: Texas-OU, Auburn-Alabama, Ohio State-Michigan, Notre Dame-USC and Army-Navy. There are also many other well-known rivalries that are not universally listed: Pitt-West Virginia, Oregon-Oregon State, Florida-Florida State, etc. From these lists, I put together a sample of 15 rivalries as a way to determine “how often do teams in these showcase rivalries get blown out by 38 points, the smallest of the four whippings by OU?”


Thoughts on the Spring Game

Posted by    |    April 6th, 2013 at 12:10 pm


For all the gut punches Mack Brown has taken of late, most of them well deserved, he landed two counterpunches of his own by hosting a Sophomore Day for the super crunko talented 2015 class, and then moving the spring game to the Saturday the Texas relays ended. Perhaps this is the work of Bama wunderkid Patrick Suddes. I’d like to think so, but let’s just give Mack credit for something, shall we? It’s been awhile. We’re friends again!

This year’s Orange & White game yielded a much bigger, more … vibrant (?) crowd, cleverly drawing kids that were already here for track, hanging out at Highland Mall, or loitering on 6th Steet, but could also conveniently drop in on a football practice. I didn’t get to see the game in person because I was dodging oil & gas semitrucks frackin their asses at 100 mph down route 80 on my way to the vibrant metropolis of Beeville, TX. Turning a naval base into a prison is never a good thing. beowulf would thrive there.


Introducing Motivated Mack. Now featuring realistic predictions!

Posted by    |    April 3rd, 2013 at 11:37 am


It’s spring time. The days grow longer, flowers bloom, and Texas fans celebrate the annual rebirth of their coach and savior, Mack Browntexasfootball. Rejoice, Longhorns! Motivated Mack is back.

Mack Brown was exiting his Texas office just past midnight Sunday, after a spring football scrimmage and entertaining sophomore visitors, when his cellphone rang.

“I’m still here, just leaving,” Brown told his wife Sally.

“Oh, so you’re excited about your job now,” his wife teased.

Hahaha! Mack Brown “excited” about his job. That’s a good one, Sally!


Aggie Fun SEC Style

Posted by    |    September 15th, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Sports fans in Texas, and particularly Big 12 fans will love this article from The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman.  Now we know this article is a spoof, but nonetheless, it is nice to know that the SEC teams and fans are keeping the tradition of creating Aggie jokes.

“Muschamp Drops Turd In Urinal Upon Leaving College Station

Not much was pretty about Florida’s 20-17 win over Texas A&M on Saturday. The Gators had to overcome injuries, sacks and their defense giving up 17 points and 269 yards of offense in the first half, but managed to come from behind in the second half to win a huge conference road game. The win was perhaps the biggest of Will Muschamp’s career at Florida.
However, nothing was bigger than the turd Muschamp produced in a urinal of the visitors locker room after the game. The turd was a parting gift from the head coach to the people of College Station.
“There’s your 12th man, Aggies,” said an elated Muschamp. “I’m glad we don’t have to go back to College Station for awhile. That place is death. The people are terrible. Did you hear them booing our players when they were injured? Don’t let their welcoming southern accents and warmhearted traditions fool you. Those people are classless idiots who have a little brother complex just like FSU. The Longhorns should be happy they don’t have to travel to that toilet bowl anymore.”The urinal deuce ends a heated week between the Aggies and Gators that saw trash-talking billboards appear in both Gainesville and College Station. This all began during the offseason when Muschamp remarked, “Have you ever been to College Station? It’s the only time you’ll go.” This prompted a video response from the mayor of College Station and a gift basket was sent to Muschamp, who set the basket on fire and threw it down a well.”