Not much was pretty about Florida’s 20-17 win over Texas A&M on Saturday. The Gators had to overcome injuries, sacks and their defense giving up 17 points and 269 yards of offense in the first half, but managed to come from behind in the second half to win a huge conference road game. The win was perhaps the biggest of Will Muschamp’s career at Florida.
However, nothing was bigger than the turd Muschamp produced in a urinal of the visitors locker room after the game. The turd was a parting gift from the head coach to the people of College Station.
“There’s your 12th man, Aggies,” said an elated Muschamp. “I’m glad we don’t have to go back to College Station for awhile. That place is death. The people are terrible. Did you hear them booing our players when they were injured? Don’t let their welcoming southern accents and warmhearted traditions fool you. Those people are classless idiots who have a little brother complex just like FSU. The Longhorns should be happy they don’t have to travel to that toilet bowl anymore.”The urinal deuce ends a heated week between the Aggies and Gators that saw trash-talking billboards appear in both Gainesville
and College Station
. This all began during the offseason when Muschamp remarked, “Have you ever been to College Station? It’s the only time you’ll go.” This prompted a video response from the mayor of College Station and a gift basket was sent to Muschamp, who set the basket on fire and threw it down a well.”
This is a well done although totally fictitious situation. Coach Muschamp would never utter these words to the press. Behind close doors or within ear shot of the general public – maybe.