This time last year I wanted to know where God was. I was going through a rough time and I felt like God had left me when I needed him most. I remember being angry because no matter how hard I prayed I felt like I wasn’t getting any answers. It was the first time in my life that I felt that God wasn’t listening, and maybe he didn’t have a plan.
I tried talking to my parents about what I was feeling, but I didn’t know what to say. I had gone to church all my life and then to say to my parents, “You know. I don’t think God is there anymore.” They would most likely flip out. After that, I kept what I was feeling to myself and focused on getting ready for my junior year at school. When I got back to University in August, I had an email from my bible study leader, John, inviting the group to meet in a few days. I decided to go and asked John if he could meet me before the meeting to talk.
When I the day arrived, I was dreading talking to John. I guess it was because if I talked about what had happened and what I was feeling it would make everything real. As the day passed and it was time to meet, my hands were shaking as I walked over to the coffee shop on campus. John was waiting for me and as soon as we sat down I just started talking. I talked about everything that had happened, including my loss of faith.
John sat there and listened to everything. After I finished, he was quiet for a few minutes, looked at me and said, “God didn’t chose to make this happen. He gave us free will, so it was out of His control. He was listening but in a different way.” It was then that I realized that John was right. My friends from school had called and emailed to check on me. One of my friends from home sent her boyfriend over with chocolates and flowers. Another friend from home listen to all my rants and took me out for ice cream all the time.
It took something bad to happen for me to realize who my good friends are and to strengthen those relationships. God had been listening and trying to help me. When I look back now, I see the situation as God helping me become a stronger person and I am thankful for it. It helped me become deeper in my faith and learn that bad things happen to good people, as cliché as that sounds. Now when something bad happens, I look toward the positive side of the situation.
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Anna Kiappes is a Guest Writer at local media company YouPlusDallas. She is currently a Senior at Southern Methodist University majoring in Journalism. Follow her on Twitter at @akiappes.